The G-d of Israel

As a Jew-by-Choice, I am hyper-aware of the deeper differences between my ways of thinking and the ways of thinking that I feel I should become more aligned with. What I mean to say, I guess, is that there are certain beliefs and attitudes that lots of Jews possess that go without saying, and because these values and perspectives were not necessarily instilled in me as a child, I get caught in the tension between what I think I should feel and what I actually do feel.

When Rabbi Gross posed the question, "Who is the G-d of Israel?", I realized that my response to this seemingly simple question would most likely be different than what someone raised within the Jewish faith might say. For example, I grew up with my view of G-d focused on His compassion, His forgiveness, and His love. I am not suggesting that Jews do not hold these views of G-d as well (in fact, they do!); what I'm trying to point out, though, is that I believe that Christianity stresses different aspects of G-d's character than does Judaism. So, instead of trying to give the "right" answers that I sometimes think I should try to give as a convert-in-process, I'm going to be honest and candid in my answer.

The G-d of Israel is my everything, my reason. He gives meaning to the meaningless and hope to the hopeless. He gives comfort and supplies strength when I have none. Just because I know He exists, I can face my tomorrows, and I can trust that He will take care of me--even if it's not in the way that I'd prefer in that moment. The G-d of Israel believes in me, and He set out a purpose for my life; I'm not just breathing in vain. He has expectations of me, rules for the way I should live, and He knows my potential. The G-d of Israel created me with a Jewish soul, and even though it's difficult sometimes, He is guiding me through to acknowledgement of that soul. He has provided through Judaism a way of expressing my love for Him tangibly and physically--through my behavior, through my speech, my dress, my eating habits, and my loyalty.

The G-d of Israel is the creator of everything, and although we've heard it all before, it never hurts to really let the truth sink in: without Hashem, there would be nothing. He has complete control, has ultimate wisdom, and He's my biggest cheerleader. The G-d of Israel, the same One who has the plot of history perfectly intertwined with the future, hears every single word that I pray. He is omnipotent, He is omniscient, and He's bigger and better and stronger and wiser and more awesome and powerful than I could ever even begin to fathom. Just the sound of His name sends an exciting shudder down the spine. I try to wrap my mind around His perfectness, and it's frustrating when I can't. But then again, He's G-d: that's the whole point.